It's All in the Name
by Yukisora
Summary: AxelRoxas. For Axel, it was love at first sight. So when he finally met Roxas Hashiba, resident sweetheart in the entertainment world for the first time, was it any shock that the love of his life hates his guts? Yea. Quite a lot. [Rated for language]
1. Simple Fear in Ignorance

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters to Kingdom Hearts, neither do I own any characters to Final Fantasy. Ownership goes to SquareSoft, SquareEnix, and Tetsuya Nomura. This is a fanfiction, written by fans for fans, and was created without the intention of monetary gain.

**Summary:** Axel/Roxas. A smile—an amused smile, a benevolent smile—brushed against those cherry-red lips as he brought his hand against Roxas' own frosted-pink ones. "Don't worry, I don't bite."

**IT'S ALL IN THE NAME**  
By: Yukisora

-- + **PART ONE **+ --

_"Happiness: We rarely feel it. I could buy it, beg it, steal it, Pay in coins of dripping blood For this one transcendent good."_  
— Amy Lowell

_---_

He used to believe in the "ever after".

However, that was once upon a time, when he'd been young and naïve …when he'd believed in all those stories, ones where the prince would slay a dangerous dragon for the hand of a beautiful princess, ones that his father had told him and his brother. They were the stories where the prince, after facing such harsh adversity, would find the fruits of his effort—and his own happily ever after.

Sora sobbed beside him, trying to use the sheets to block out the heart-wrenching "hics" that would escape every now and then. Tears, the clearest, purest, and most translucent of tears, streamed hotly down smooth valleys as they landed, still warm, onto the bed with a person they'd loved more than life itself. With his hands fisting, clutching onto the bed in defiance, or perhaps, in desperate hope, Roxas felt his own eyes mist, as another sob ransacked his brother's small frame.

Sora, as Roxas had learned long ago, had always had a hard time dealing with pain.

Swallowing, his sapphire-deep eyes sought the ashen face of their mother. Squeezing the twin orbs shut when they caught onto the slightly moistened glaze to those eyes. Something in the way the tears glittered had Roxas' heart tightening, squeezing until he was sure it'd burst. Amazing eyes—the ones that both Sora and Roxas had inherited—remained solely on their father, who stood, unblinking and perhaps even unseeing. Something in the way those eyes remained unmoved, dry, and, to a degree, calm and collected, had Roxas turning around as a fresh wave of tears threatened.

Mom.

She'd been the only person to keep the family alive. Already he could feel the pieces of his life crumble, as he stood beside his weeping brother and their father, who stood on the opposite side of the bed, staring blankly into the corpse that used to be their mother once upon a time.

"Mom," Almost whimpering, eyes so blurred by tears that all he could see were the whites surrounding the entire hospital room, Sora leaned closer to his mother's body, almost willing his tears to warm her dried skin. "Mom. Mom. Mom."

A part of him wanted to join Sora in his desperate chant for their mother. Maybe if the both of them called enough, she'd be returned to them, follow their voices back to them.

"Mom. Mom. Mom."

A woman, separated from the family scene, stood towards the back of the room. A track of tears, delicately shed and daintily wiped away, slipped past shocked eyes, as hands clenched against a mouth that was expertly painted. The eyes, the same ones that their mother had, turned to search desperately for their father with her hand reached out for him.

"D-Darling..."

It was that one line, which got to him. The fury, the pure unadulterated rage, erupted out of Roxas, as he rounded towards the woman that had fed them candy as kids, given gifts to them for Christmas, and baked cakes for their birthdays. Blue eyes, ones which are the same as his mother's, narrowed into two slits of ice, as Sora's cries echoed in his ears.

"Get out."

It was a whisper, a testimony of his deteriorating patience. Anger, betrayal, resentment, and a whole barrage of emotions coursed through him, threatening to split his heart into God knows how many pieces. Betrayal and grief stung, cut deeply into his heart, so he vehemently shook them away, concentrating instead on the rage and resentment.

Disgust coated his tone as he laid a hand, meant to be comforting, but came out as protective, onto Sora's quaking shoulders. "Get away from our mother."

"Roxas..."

"GET OUT!"

The slap that came across his face was both unexpected and sharp. Eyes widening, he silently watched the hand sweep across his face, engulfed in something like a time warp, as he stared into the hands of his father. Sora, looking up at his father with hate-filled eyes, jumped up in retaliation.

The loud slap that resonated across the room had the woman, standing in the background, recoiling in alarm and the father slamming into the wall.

"Don't you _dare_ hit Roxas, you mother-fucking bastard." The eyes, usually so friendly and warm, narrowed as they regarded the man that they'd once trusted with their lives. His mouth trembled slightly, as he retracted his hand and slipped them onto his brother's, moving to stand beside him. In a second, Roxas knew, the tears would start again. However, holding the trembling hand that shook so violently in his, he only tightened his own mouth, as he regarded the man and woman that had caused the death of their mother.

"Father, Aunt Darhl."

Turning his head slightly, he felt his eyes sweep over their mother, past the sickly complexion and over the last wisps of brunette locks to lock onto the slight frown that marred her otherwise calm face. Unbeknownst to him, he gripped Sora's hand all the more tighter for they started to tremble as well.

"I hate you. _We_ hate the _both_ of you. Please get away from our mother." Looking into eyes so similar to his own, to a woman that had been as much a part of their childhood as any Aunt could be, he felt his veils come down, covering those windows from all outside intruders.

"We'll take care of her. We'll take care of ourselves."

---

"Sora! Sorry, can you turn a little to the left please?"

Smirking as Sora complied happily with the request, he watched as the brunette tilt his head a little, so that his partner could slide those arms around his neck more effectively. Brunette strands melded sharply with silver-platinum, merging to form a shade that ran closer to a golden hue than anything else did.

Touching his own hair, carefully done up by the stylist a while back, Roxas rolled his eyes, as his brother wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"_Sora,_" was the exasperated sigh, as the photographer caught the wrinkled nose on camera.

"Sorry!" Pouting a little, swiping his bangs back a little to the horror of his own stylist, Sora shook his head like a stray dog. "I'm eating my own hair here! And it tastes like _hair spray_."

"Your brother's not made for modeling."

Turning to frown at the newcomer—one rude enough to make such comments over his _own _damn brother—Roxas felt his eyes cool as he regarded the flaming guy beside him. Amusement danced in those bewitching eyes, as the guy pushed his own flamed tips back.

Something in the way those deep emerald irises sparkled had Roxas' back stiffening. Keeping his own eyes level, his chin jutted out as he turned back to observe Sora's interaction on camera.

The camera loves Sora. Everything that he did came out _wonderful_ on camera and it was not just because of the skills of the photographers or directors, even if it does play a significant role. The truth of it is that most of it was because of Sora's vibrant personality, one that never diminishes. Watching as he arched his arms into the air, effectively producing both an air of innocence and seduction simultaneously, Roxas scowled.

"Don't get me wrong."

Smirking and waving a hand, as he tried to appease Roxas' challenging glare, the guy pointed towards Sora and Riku, his partner and boyfriend for a year. "The kid has an amazing personality and tremendous charisma. The audience will lap it up like cream. After all, what person in their right mind wouldn't soak up the two Hashiba brothers?

"But just look at him," he said as Sora apologized again to the photographer when he'd squeaked in surprise, effectively changing another shot. "There are only so many rolls he can mangle."

A smirk, one that was both condescending and amused at the same time, lit onto Roxas' face, as he turned to regard the guy. Each and _every_ shot with Sora and Riku in it, the guy will soon learn, will be useful. Looking into the delighted gleam of the photographer's eyes, Roxas rumbled in the back of his throat, as Sora and the others wrapped up.

There wouldn't be a single picture wasted and there wasn't going to be one picture that wouldn't be considered for the front cover of the magazine.

He was confident of that. The fact that Sora and he were both actors and not models didn't change that fact.

With work finished, Roxas watched the brunette bound over towards him, preparing for the traditional "good-luck" hug that came before Roxas went to work. Bracing himself, as Sora's sweaty frame engulfed his own, he quickly patted his brother before stepping back from him.

"You'll ruin his clothing and make-up," the redhead helpfully pointed out, smirking still.

Sora, having had decided to finish the attack on his brother, looked over to the redhead and lit up when he recognized the other guy. "AXEL!"

It was such a jubilant cry that those surrounding them immediately glanced over. Satisfied that it was only four stars—two actors and two models—chatting passionately, they soon returned to their work in preparation for Roxas' shoot.

"Axel!" Laughing happily, as he gave the redhead a hug, Roxas watched as the guy that he could only assume as Axel ruffled his brother's hair affectionately. "You're doing this shoot too?"

"Duh, little Sora," came the dry response, before he greeted Riku. Slapping hands with the silver-haired model in greeting, he turned those eyes back onto Roxas as he added, "How could I refuse when I heard that I'll be working with the famous Hashiba?"

Sora blinked.

"Rox? You're working with Rox?"

Whirling around, turning an incredulous eye towards the redhead before him, Roxas quickly reached into his pocket to search for the information his assistant had given him a week ago. Staring up at those flaming tips and emerald eyes, the blond rolled his eyes as he flipped the page back into his pants.

"Course not, Sora," Roxas snorted, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm working with Marluxia Kohno—he's got _pink_ hair."

"Oooh, Marxy can't make it today," Axel smirked as he held out his own paper. "See, he came down with a _bad_ case of the flu just this week. So I, being the wonderful friend I am, decided to come in his stead."

It was, by far, the worst news that he'd heard all day.

Even as his loud "_WHAT_?!" resonated throughout the park again, the photographer was already calling them for the shot. Slender hands, smooth in their texture and firm in their grip, reached forward to gently push the blond towards the shoot.

"Come on, my little blond prince." Leaning close enough that their cheeks brushed, Roxas felt himself flush, as hypnotizing eyes narrowed onto his own. "Let's be professional, okay?"

_Professional my ass!_ Muttering to himself, as a scowl manifested onto his face, the blond glared into the camera, before leaning back to a pose with the redhead. Even as the photographer called out instructions, telling him to move closer to the left, raise his right arms higher, and to lower his face by half an inch, the anger didn't stop simmering inside of him.

After all, he'd decided upon their first meeting that he did _not_ like this guy. Professionally or not.

"Relax, Goldilocks." The quiet murmur caressed his ears as Axel lowered his head beside Roxas. Blue eyes drifted close as one of those captivating—but so incredibly annoying—hands captured his to bring towards Axel's face. Hands, smooth as honey and soft as silk, brushed against his side, as he brought Roxas closer.

His breath hitch against his throat and panicked eyes shot up to stare into those green depths. A smile—an amused smile, a benevolent smile—brushed against those cherry-red lips as he brought his hand against Roxas' own frosted-pink ones. "Don't worry, I don't bite."

"Good chemistry!"

The excited compliment from the photographer had Roxas jolting out of the trance. Eyes flew back towards the camera, as a blush alighted onto his cheeks. Turning from the redhead slightly, almost disturbed at the intense moment, Roxas took in a slight breath of air.

_Let's be professional_, he'd said. Fine. Lowering his lids, letting his annoyance with the other man fade like shadows under the light of the sun, Roxas leaned back a little to bring his arms up towards Axel's hair. Disregarding the style it was supposed to be in, he let his fingers run through those silky strands as he sighed.

"Good God, you two are on fire," was the next enraptured cry, as the camera clicked away. Angles were chosen, the lighting changed again and again. Flashes blinded his eyes as one frame flowed after another. Lenses were changed and re-changed, adjusted and re-adjusted.

However, all Roxas could think about was his reaction to Axel's _"I don't bite."_

---

"You _like_ him."

The knowing grin that Sora was throwing was getting to be somewhat annoying. Ruffling his hair for the tenth time and feeling thoroughly annoyed at the squelchy feel of gel that stuck to his fingers, he threw an annoyed glare over at his brother, as another exasperated sigh escaped him.

"_No_, Sora. I don't."

"Yes, Roxas. You do." Grinning from ear to ear, the brunette leaned forward from the plush seat of the limo, examining eyes identical to his own.

"Are we talking about _Axel Akuseru_, here?" Roxas muttered, before draining his bottled water. Frowning at Sora, while debating whether he should tell his brother just how _insane_ that idea was, he blinked in surprise when the brunette started laughing.

"Who _else_ would we be talking about? Marluxia?"

"Kohno would be a better choice than that Akuseru." Muttering to himself, feeling flustered all over again, the blond dumped the bottle aside and grabbed at the new notes set for him by his assistant.

"Oh puh-_lease_." Rolling his own eyes, flopping back onto the cushions with his hands thrown out on either side of him, Sora smirked. "If it was anyone else, I bet Axel would've been _dead_ today after that little groping session. Instead, all you did was stomp on his foot at the end of the photo shoot. Look at me in the eye and tell me you don't like him."

He looked up from his papers, stared straight into those sapphire depths that mirrored his own, and said, "Sora, I don't like Axel Akuseru."

Sighing a bit to himself, feeling a steady pout forming, Sora puffed out his cheeks a little, as he regarded his brother. "Darn it. You're pretty stubborn when you want to go into denial."

"Sora, I'm not in denial."

Laughing a bit, blue eyes twinkled at Roxas happily, as Sora swung himself onto his stomach. Rotating his legs in the air happily, subconsciously making out the pattern of a heart in the air, the brunette sighed a bit as his usual dreamy look sprouted onto his face.

"I wonder what Riku's doing right now."

"Sitting on _his_ limo on the way home."

"Mm. I wonder what Riku's doing in his limo."

Rolling his eyes a bit, feeling the beginnings of a smile tug onto his lips despite everything, Roxas flipped onto the next page. "Thinking about you with the same stupid expression that you have right now."

"Hm," Looking over at his brother, Sora cocked his head, as he regarded his brother. "Roxas, you need to get your own stupid look."

"I'll pass, thanks." Dry. Wincing a bit at his tone, Roxas quickly peeked up at Sora to make sure he hadn't taken offense. Satisfied at the quietly affronted pout, which Sora threw him, he added, "I believe one stupid-looking Hashiba twin is enough in this world."

"I'm not stupid-looking! Anyway, we're twins! So if I look stupid, you'd look stupid too!"

Tapping Sora's nest of brown hair lightly, Roxas felt a smirk light onto his face. "But I, oh twin, have the charisma to make my stupid-looking face appear ravishing." Laughing, Roxas ducked as Sora's bottle flew at his head. "Hey! What are you gonna do if you bruised this face, huh?"

Sora, in response, only threw the cushion at him. Chuckling a little despite himself, Roxas unfurled his legs from beneath him as the limo rolled to a stop. Yawning, he stretched out, the blond slipped on his shoes as he regarded his brother.

Sora, curled in the seat of the limo, refused to move at his brother glare.

"_Sora_."

Groaning, shooting a quiet glare up at Roxas, another pout lit onto his face as the brunette stumbled off the limo. "I call the shower first."

Rolling his eyes again, briefly worried that his eyes would permanently stay rolled toward the top of his head, Roxas followed the exuberant brunette into the Hotel. The receptionists bowed in greeting as the two passed through the door. Golden light illuminated the entire hall. It was, by the standards of most, one of the best Hotels in the city. Yet Roxas couldn't help but remember those times where the two brothers had huddled in a one-room motel infested by both rats and roaches.

"You'll get wrinkles, Rox," Sora murmured quietly, pouting, as he gently swiped at the furrow between the blond's brows. His thumb pressed against his forehead insistently, trying to smooth out the wrinkle as he frowned up at his brother. "Stop thinking so much."

Laughing a little as they stepped off the elevator, Sora ran to the nearest sofa in their penthouse and dumped himself onto the white leather. Disregarding his smearing make-up and the gel in his hair, the brunette curled back into his previous position in the limo and sighed.

"I thought you wanted the shower first."

The dismissive murmur that came a second later, along with the dainty wave of a hand, had the blond smiling again as he walked over to his room to grab his stuff. Taking out the blanket, he rolled his eyes when he saw that Sora was already fast asleep on the couch. Well, to maintain a level like Sora's throughout the day was pretty exhausting.

Walking back to his room, after checking once more to make sure that Sora was perfectly tucked in and comfortable, Roxas went into the bathroom and turned on the hot water. As water started filling the tub, and the scent of mangos filtered throughout the room, the blond quietly slipped in. Sighing, as the last of the tension dissipated from his body, Roxas lowered his head onto the tub and gently closed his eyes.

_Years_. It's been years since Sora and Roxas had gone into the business. Years since their mother died and years since they've seen their father. Eyes opened, opaque from the memories and swirled like the translucent mist that floated around the room.

He briefly wondered if their father was still alive.

_It didn't matter_. None of that matter, because neither Sora nor Roxas was ever going to see them ever again. Exhaling, quietly enjoying the sweet scent of mangos, Roxas closed his eyes as he reclaimed his calm. They're successful and will continue moving on in their life. The past had nothing to do with the future.

Sora had finally forgotten about the past. Roxas freely admitted that a lot of it was because of Riku. Ever since the silver-haired man had entered Sora's life, the brunette's usual smile had flitted back to life. Some of that pain, it seemed to Roxas, had been shared and the burden had been, invariably, lightened.

What was initially gratitude soon changed into loyalty as Riku slowly healed the brunette. Loyalty morphed into affection as the three became closer and closer. Thinking of the way Sora had glowed in today's shoot, Roxas smiled as he slowly stood. Water splashed everywhere, splattering against the marble when he stood under the overhead.

He was grateful to Riku. After all, the man had been able to heal Sora in a week more than Roxas had managed to in years. While a part of him had cried that he couldn't help his twin as much as a stranger had, another part of him cried for joy that his other half—his better half—was finally healing.

The pounding on the bathroom door had the blond jolting from his thoughts. Quickly slipping his robe on, with his hair still dripping wet, the blond opened the door to Sora's beaming smile.

"Hey, Rox. Riku wants to know if we want to go to clubbing tonight."

"Sora," sighing a bit, going back into the bathroom to grab a towel, he wrapped the fluffy whiteness around his hair as he scowled at his brother. "You were dead to the world just a minute ago. How the Hell did you even hear the phone?"

Laughing, tugging Roxas out of the room, Sora jingled his cell happily, as he danced around in circles. "I have Riku-senses, okay? I never miss his calls." Blinking, his face suddenly turned pensive as he added, "Unless I don't have my phone with me. Or when it's out of batteries. Or something."

Because that look in Sora's eyes was so serious, Roxas sighed. "Fine. Let's go to the club. When are we meeting him?"

"He's here! We have five minutes."

_"Five minutes_?!" Throwing a glare over at his brother as he ran out to the living room, Roxas scowled when he saw the other model perched on the same couch Sora was sleeping on just a few minutes ago.

"I want half an hour."

Riku blinked. Staring at that dripping head and chest, he snickered at the scowl the blond was currently throwing him. Drowned little kitty. "You look like you need half an hour."

Throwing his wet towel at him, Roxas stormed back into his room and grabbed the blow dryer. How come no one mentioned this during _work_ today, when they had been so conveniently together?

Damn Riku and his impulsive desires.

Damn Sora for making Roxas always going _along_ with their impulsive desires.

Combing the locks impatiently, Roxas turned away from his mirror as he ran into his closet to grab the first outfit available. Dragging on the tight black tank and baggy pants, blue eyes returned to the mirror to watch hands quickly dabbed into the bottle of organic gel.

Smoothing his hands over his bangs quickly, careful to keep the hair silky soft, he pulled at his back hair to make it stand in its usual style. Spraying it quickly, he let the residue sit on the blond tresses for a moment, before stalking over to grab his wallet and keys.

"Ready," he called out as he stepped into the living room. "Sorry for making you guys..._ew_." Staring at the position before him, Roxas gagged as he quickly threw the discarded blanket over the two of them.

"Urgh, I'll go wait in the limo." Quickly leaving the room, the blond shuddered a bit, as he descended to the first floor. Nodding at a couple of people he knew, he walked over to the front desk and requested a new couch.

_Impulsive desires_, Roxas decided, _matched Riku to the tee. _Slamming the door close, the blond closed his eyes as he settled back onto the leathery softness. It's just so _wrong_ to walk in on your brother when he's in the middle of a massive make-out session.

Especially since that session had, obviously, been about to lead to something else.

Roxas sighed. He'd really liked that couch. It had a certain amount of softness that wasn't found in usual couches. Reminded of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, where little Goldilocks had sat until she'd found her "perfect chair", Roxas shuddered.

_"Relax, Goldilocks_."

Did he give off the same feeling as a children's story character? Scowling, reopening his eyes to stare out the window, briefly cursing Sora and Riku for taking so long, blue eyes widened as he stared out at the passing streets.

"Hey!" he cried, pushing the intercom button. "What do you think you're _doing_ Jackson?"

Jackson, the Hashiba driver for as long as the brothers had been in the business, winced a little into the rearview mirror. Not that, of course, Roxas could see the expression clearly. "Sorry, Master Roxas. Young Master Sora and his boy asked that we bring you to this place."

"We?"

Smoothly, nearly placating in his tone, Jackson amended himself. "Well, 'I', to be technical."

Pouting a little, Roxas quickly bit his lips back as he recognized his brother's expression on his own face. Eyes turned sulky as he realized that he'd been set up since the evening. He briefly wondered how long it had taken those two to come up with this and led to wondering when Sora had gotten so good at deception.

He'd looked so perfectly innocent, sleeping on that couch!

"We're here," Jackson said as the limo glided easily onto a stop. Blinking out of his thoughts, Roxas jolted as his car door slid open. Gaping up at familiar eyes and that annoying smirk, Roxas felt his mouth drop open involuntarily. Hands, those same smooth and firm hands from this morning, gently tugged on his own, efficiently guiding him out of the limo.

"Hey, Goldilocks."

The nickname had his spine stiffening. Eyes quickly narrowed as jaws snapped shut. Jutting out his chin in his characteristically stubborn manner—the one that usually had his assistants screaming and manager sighing in frustration—Roxas threw a glare over at the redhead as he tugged his hands free.

Feeling trapped as Axel's hands merely tightened on them, Roxas scowled as he prepared to step on a certain shiny shoe. "Okay, Goldilocks." Stepping out of range, keeping a wary eye on those killer shoes Roxas had on, Axel held up a hand in surrender. "Don't destroy the evening that Riku and Sora had so nicely put together for us, hm?"

Those sapphire eyes narrowed again. "Sora and Riku? Evening?"

That smile was easy and those eyes were gleaming again. Panic danced up his spine again, as Axel brought the two of them closer to the restaurant. "Well, yea." A shrug was all the indication Axel gave towards his thoughts for the evening. "Seems like those two've been planning this little get together for a while now." Looking over at the affronted look on Roxas' face, a smirk lit onto those same deep red lips. "Remind me to thank them later."

Cursing Sora, recognizing a set-up when he saw one, Roxas snarled as the two stepped through the threshold and into the restaurant. Candlelight flickered throughout the room, causing shadows to dance, golden and soft. The scent of orchids permeated the entire room, producing a scent that was both exotic and sweet. One look at the table the two were, presumably, to sit on and the source was found.

"What am I, a _girl_?" Roxas muttered as he followed Axel towards the table. The maitre'd bowed as he brought the two towards the table. Pulling a chair out for Roxas, the blond frowned when he noticed the beautiful pink blossom sitting on his napkin.

He _is_ the girl.

"May I offer the champagne for this joyous occasion?" the maitre'd was saying as he held out a bottle of Pierre Perignon. Smiling when Axel nodded, the elder man popped the cork and quickly filled the readied wine-cups. Bowing once more, leaving the bottle where it was, he quickly left the two alone.

"Joyous occasion?" Roxas felt his eyes narrow as he watched Axel sip his champagne. "What's this about?"

"Beats me." Shrugging delicately, never shifting his eyes from Roxas', Axel leaned forward. Candlelight licked his face as flames danced. Those cat-like eyes, already so potent in the sunlight alone, practically glowed in the light of the candle. "But I'm never one to turn his nose up against good food."

A smile was all it took for him to reclaim the ease and confidence, Roxas realized as he watched that smile split across the redhead's face. _Like a Cheshire cat_. The man was exactly like a Cheshire cat who found a new, juicy secret. The discomfort Roxas felt was only because he wasn't sure what the secret was yet.

Keeping an eye on him as their food arrived, Roxas melted when he saw the trout in front of him. He adored trout. It was, in his opinion, the next best thing when compared with lobsters dishes from Maine and Chinese styled Shark Fin soup.

"So, you're a seafood guy," Axel remarked as he dug into his own tempura dish. Nodding at the fish before him, Axel smirked as he held out his own tempura. "Do you want any of mine?"

It's true that tempura looked delicious. Had it been Sora or Riku who had offered, Roxas was sure he'd have taken it without reservation. But because it was Axel, Roxas can only look back down at his delicious trout and sniffed.

"No, thanks," was all he said before taking a bite out of the trout.

_God_. The trout melts in his mouth. Since when did trout melt? As far as he knew, caviar was the only thing that came close. And was that butter that's currently sliding over his tongue? His eyes fluttered down a little along with a sigh in satisfaction.

"I can't believe I'm jealous of a dead trout."

Eyes snapped open and focused onto Axel. "What?"

Smiling a little, Axel shrugged. "Well, you look like you're enjoying it. Share, Goldilocks, and I'll give you some of this tempura."

"As in a trade?" Eyes narrowed on his delicious trout, before focusing onto those sizzling tempura. "Like a business trade?" he added.

"God, you're a real work of art," Axel laughed as he slid his plate closer. "Fine, we'll consider it a business transaction. Want me to use this napkin and write a contract with all the proper terms?"

"No." Quickly taking a tempura before he changed his mind, he slipped it into his mouth and sighed at the rich taste of tempura, garlic and a little something else he couldn't quite pinpoint. Maybe pepper. "I'll take your word for it," he grinned, as he slid his own plate closer to Axel.

The sudden pause on the redhead's part had Roxas looking up again. Blinking a little, unsure of the weird look Axel was giving him, Roxas quickly patted his cheeks to make sure he hadn't gotten some sauce or other onto them. Finding none, he looked back up and frowned. "What?"

Scooping out some of the trout, eyes danced as he shrugged. "Ya know, Goldilocks, you've got a pretty good smile."

That panicked feeling was back. Flushing, Roxas pulled the plate back towards himself as he quickly drained his champagne. Feeling the same suffocated feeling as before, he exhaled quietly as Axel returned to his food. Eyes trained themselves onto that alabaster face as he took another bite of the trout.

"Your passionate stare's making me feel tingly," Axel murmured as green eyes rose to catch blue. "Are you in love with me now, little protective prince?"

Flushing again, Roxas thanked God for the candlelight for hiding most of his blush. He would never live it down if it had been the harsh light of a fluorescent lamp. "Not likely, arrogant...arrogant butthead!"

Laughing, delighted with the insult, Axel threw his head up as he roared in the empty restaurant. "Butthead? Did you get that one from Sora?"

Because he had gotten it from his brother, Roxas flushed for the third time that evening as he turned back to his food. "Sora makes good insults sometimes."

It was such a ridiculous statement that Axel started laughing all over again. Even Roxas, as he watched the redhead laugh, chuckled a little with a smirk of his own.

---

_So, maybe he's not as bad as I thought he was_.

Waving at a couple of people from the studio, Roxas smiled at a fellow actor as he rounded to his dressing room. Sora, with his face freshly painted and hair recently done, poked his head out from his room beside Roxas' and smirked. "I heard your sleeeeeep-talk last night. Roxas and Axel sitting in a tree..."

"Shut up, Sora," he muttered as he stalked into his room. Shutting the door quietly, he peered at the costume for the first segment of the movie.

Just because Sora considered Axel as a friend, doesn't necessarily mean that Axel's off the hook, he decided, as he threw on the specifically made hoodie and jeans designed to look both casual and trendy. Especially made to flutter in the slightest bit of a breeze, Roxas gritted his teeth as the fabric brushed against his skin.

While Sora usually had a pretty decent eye for people, it didn't change the fact that his brother was way too trusting. Any friend that would go out of his way to insult them behind their back to their _own_ _brother_ had to be a pretty big scum. Not to mention the biggest retard in the world.

But still. The evening before hadn't been as bad as he'd expected. The guy was pretty interesting. And from his stories, it was pretty obvious he'd traveled around the world.

_Pretty big feat for a model_.

Sitting before his mirror, he took in the tubs of make-up that his make-up artist would be plastering onto his face and the piles of hair-products to come after. Rolling his eyes, he turned when his stylist came in. Greeting the girl with his usual smile, he turned back around on his seat to stare at the mirror, as she began playing with his hair. When the door opened again, both were too immersed in their own world to bother turning around.

"Larxene," his stylist greeted without turning, her concentration focused primarily on one of Roxas' stubborn strand of hair that refused to stay down. "I'll be done in just a minute."

"Take your time."

The unmistakable voice of a male, rich like cream and laguid as honey, floated through the room. Disregarding the distressed cry of his hair stylist, Roxas whirled around to glare at the intruder. The fact that he'd been thinking of him just _minutes_ before he showed up seemed a bit too coincidental to Roxas.

"What are you doing here?" He snarled as the girl tried to sooth him back to his previous position. Noting the quiet anguish in the girl's eyes, he twirled back around to glare at the redhead's reflection.

"I was passing by and decided to stop for a visit," Axel smirked. Leaning against the door, keeping his eyes steady through the mirror, he scratched his neck a little at the vehement glare that Roxas threw him. "Don't look at me like that, Goldilocks. I'm not a stalker—Sora told me where you two were and said I should visit."

Great. Just great. Now his brother was conspiring against him.

"Well, just so you know, I—"

The startled cry that rang from behind had Roxas' eyes widening. Axel, who had been leaning against the door to this point, let out a loud squawk as the door slid open without warning. Behind him, Larxene the make-up artist could only squeal in shock as a hundred-sixty pound of muscles and limbs fell on top of her.

Twirled back around, delighted in witnessing the cool and confident Axel Akuseru fall flat on his ass, Roxas let out a peel of laughter when he caught the stupefied look on the redhead's face.

Face immediately flushed, clutching at his stomach desperately, Roxas gasped for air as Sora and Riku both appeared a minute later. The two stars stared down at the mess before them, both with such priceless faces that another shout of laughter escaped him again. Sora, looking up in surprise at the sound emanating from Roxas' room, had frozen when he saw Roxas' clutched form.

"Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no." Wailing now, unable to hold back the giggles that refused to stay down, Roxas tried to hide his flushed face from everyone's incredulous stare. Helpless shakes ransacked through his forms as tears of mirth streaked down his cheeks.

"Well," Larxene muttered quietly to herself as she brushed herself off the ground. Throwing a rather contemptuous look at the man that had fallen on top of her, her eyes softened a little as they alighted onto the blond still quaking from laughter before her. "I guess it's a good thing I didn't do your make-up yet," she murmured.

"S-Sorry, Larx." Gasping, turning another apologetic look up at his hair-stylist who looked positively livid by now, he settled back onto his seat and patted his flushed cheeks for a second. "I don't know, I just found that really...haha!...funny."

"Well." Over his embarrassment, Axel stood with the help of Riku before turning to examine Roxas once more. "Ya know, Goldilock, you've got a pretty good laugh too."

---

It took a whole morning and a good part of the afternoon for them to perfect a scene that would run for approximately fifteen minutes of the movie. Exhausted, throwing the wet towel over his face, Roxas sighed as he settled onto the chair that had been designated as his.

The touch of something ice-cold and freezing on his skin was both a shock and a relief. Jumping despite himself, alarmed blue eyes stared up in dismay at the wicked look that Axel threw at him. "You!"

"Hey, Goldie," Grinning, apparently pleased with himself, Axel settled onto Sora's seat beside him. Where the Hell Sora was, Roxas'll never know. Maybe off somewhere with Riku. "You were great today."

"Thanks." Draining the bottle of water Axel had given him, he swiped at his mouth, drying the last of the sweat. "It only took the entire morning."

"Yea, who knew being an actor's so grueling?" Throwing his arms behind him as he settled properly onto the chair, a smile lit onto that face as he added, "I thought stars only enjoy temperature-conditioned swimming pools, caviars, and massive dinner parties."

Rolling his eyes, smiling despite himself, Roxas shrugged. "And I thought models only indulged on temper tantrums, diva rants and mineral water with just the right amount of vitamin C."

Laughing now, those amused eyes pinned back onto him, Axel nodded appreciatively. "Oh, we do. Isn't it a part of everyone's life?"

The diva tone nearly had Roxas cracking up again. It almost dismayed him just how much he laughed whenever Axel came around. Sobering immediately, he turned away to look over where the main actress laughed with someone else. Shrugging a little, he turned back to Axel and gave him a smile.

Axel frowned, eyes landing on the smile. "Did I do something wrong?" The question was so serious, almost ridiculous in how serious it sounded. Yet, at the same time, because it was so serious, Roxas couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, Axel had seen right through him.

Shaking his head a little, standing, the blond placed his shades on, to hide and to protect. "No, nothing. I just have to find Sora. See you."

Leaving the redhead on Sora's seat, Roxas stalked over to the nearest restroom. Throwing the door open, eyes flew immediately to the mirror. Scowling at the sparkle that danced in them, he turned on the faucet to splash the ice-cold water onto his face.

The "ever after" isn't for everyone. He knew that.

"Says who?"

Eyes flew open. Axel stood behind him in absolute fury as he regarded the blond before him. "Says who?" he repeated, those flaming eyes never leaving Roxas' own. "Why can't everyone have their own 'happily ever after'?"

That same feeling was back. The panicked feeling he had whenever he spent too much time with this man. _It's no good_, Roxas decided, staring into those adamant eyes. There's no way that he'll ever understand. Smirking a little, he sighed as he strolled past him. The hand that reached out to grab him around the arm tore a cry out of him as he was slammed none-too-gently against the wall.

"Fuck you," Axel growled. Leaning close, the same intense eyes burned into his own, as their breath mingled. "You have some stick up your arse, so you hide from every fucking person that tries to get close to you? Just how fucked up are you, Goldilocks? Huh?"

"Get off."

"No."

The lips that crashed onto his own were furious. None of the gentleness from before was present, no amusement, no laughter. It was all intensity, all force. No amount of power, Roxas knew, would get this man off until he was damn well and ready.

"Fuck you," Axel muttered again. Throwing himself off Roxas, breathing heavily, staring into Roxas, something in those eyes flickered. Then dimmed.

"Fuck you," he repeated. And left.

Something inside of him was cracking.

_Must be the fumes stinking up this bathroom_. Dimly, groping his way back to the sink, the blond stared into the mirror into his own flushed cheeks—only to jump with a start when he saw the unbidden tears running down. Quickly turning on the water, dabbing a towel, he pressed the wet, cool cloth onto his eyes. Hot, salty liquid merged with cool, clear drops as both slid down a heart shaped cheek.

Sick. He must be getting sick.

Sliding down onto the ground, closing his eyes to let the cool water work their magic, he released a single shuddery breath. The blast from the AC chilled him to the bone. The shivers that refused to stop were both from Axel's insult and from the chilling air of the AC.

Damn that bastard. There's no way that he'll ever understand.

"Happily ever after my ass...Only those that God hasn't turned from can say crap like that. Never for someone like..."

Pressing that cloth back to his eyes, refusing the new liquid that's threatening to spill over, the blond huddled by the sink. Legs curled over his chest as a hand grabbed at the keychain Sora had placed around his neck years ago, when Riku had cured him.

_Me_.

---

"Roxy!!!"

Eyes widened a bit as a small bomb of energy body-slammed both him and the script he was reading onto the ground. The gigantic white tanning chair he'd been lounging on for the past five minutes promptly tipped over as the brunette on top of him dragged him to the ground.

"Sel-_Selphie_?"

Hazel eyes glimmered up at him, smirking playfully as she backed up enough to let him sit. "The one and only!" Throwing her arms back around him, she pressed a quick kiss onto his cheeks. "Did ya miss me?"

Rolling his eyes, getting up from his position before those hidden paparazzi had a field day over their new story, the blond smirked a little, as he held out a hand to help the girl up. "You know the papers'll blow everything tomorrow, don't you?"

Giggling a little, the smile that had gotten her famous three years ago flitted across her face as she patted her cheeks in a mock-bashful fashion. "Aww. Don't you _like_ it when the papers make up wild and ardent affairs that neither of us have ever committed?"

Shaking his head at the girl, Roxas picked up the script again as a pool boy righted the chair that had fallen over. Smiling at the teen in thanks, the blond settled onto the chair again as Selphie perched onto the one beside him. Accepting a drink, handing one over to Selphie, the blond shrugged. "Honestly? No. I hate it whenever I have to deal with Tidus—his jealousy's _crazy_. Thanks though. How's the baby?"

Laughing again, throwing her arms out behind her as she fell into position, one long, skinny leg dipped towards the pool as she closed her eyes. "She's a_ wonder_. So much energy—even I can barely keep up with her."

"She's beautiful, Selphie."

Something in those emerald eyes changed, warmed; melting with motherly love and devotion as she looked out into the pool. Brushing back a strand of stray hair, letting her eyes roam over the surfaces of the water, a sweet, quiet, and utterly _serene_ smile spread across that face. "She is."

Studying that quietly happy face and noting the healthy flush, sparkling eyes, and that smile, Roxas had to look away from them, feeling a prick cutting into his heart again.

"Tidus is such a wonder with her," Selphie was saying, sipping her drink quietly as she looked back over at Roxas. "He couldn't get enough of her. Playing with her twenty-four/seven. Buying her a million unnecessary things when he can't. He's going to spoil her, I just know it."

And he would do anything for her, Roxas knows that too. "Sounds like a good dad."

"You're entitled to it too, Roxas."

_"Why can't everyone have their own 'happily ever after'?"_

Blinking, looking back over at her, unnerved by the seriousness he saw, Roxas laughed a little as he waved for another drink. "What are you talking about, Selph? As wonderful as the female species are—and we all know I won't be here without them—I'm absolutely not going to return to being straight, Selph."

"Not a _kid_, though you can always adopt one. I'm talking about your_ happiness_."

Exasperated with him, eyes flashing a little, she threw the script away from him as he turned back to the lines. "Look at me, Roxas Hashiba."

Roxas sighed. Scratching his head a little, careful to keep that smile up on his face, he let out a complacent shrug. "Selphie, I _am_ happy. I'm at the height of my career right now. What idiot in his right mind_ wouldn't_ be?"

"Oh, go stick a script up your behind." Glaring at him now, utterly infuriated, the brunette leaned over the chair. Poking a finger firmly on his chest, careful to keep their eyes level, hazel burned into ice-blue. "I'm _perfectly_ aware of both you AND Sora's acting capabilities. If it was three years ago, your act might've fooled everyone. Unfortunately for you, Sora found his real happiness—so your act's not gonna shine so much anymore, Rox."

"Selphie."

"Ohhh, I'm so mad! Why can't you just snap out of it?!"

_Damn it._ Reaching out, grabbing her hands, Roxas smiled. Damn it. It's breaking again. It's breaking again.

"Thanks, Selphie. But I'm really fine. Really."

The inexplicable urge to cry overwhelmed him. Quickly releasing her hands, taking back his script, he stood. Grabbing his shades, he placed them over his eyes as he stepped out from beneath the umbrella. Sun blasted everywhere, both soothing and scorching.

Finding it a little hard to breath and harder to smile, the blond turned a little and smirked at both Sora's and his longtime friend. "Don't worry, Selph. I'll be magnificent in this movie."

---

"Great job today, Roxas," one of the crew threw him the thumbs up, as his co-host patted him lightly on his back. "The crew are grabbing a few drinks in half an hour or so. Are you coming?"

Sora had a date with Riku tonight. They were trying out that new French restaurant that opened just last month. While the offer of their crab had almost had Roxas agreeing to be the third wheel, self-control and common sense won out in the end.

"Sorry." Smiling a little, waving to lighten the sting of the rejection, Roxas shrugged as he ruffled his hair. He'd have to remind his stylist to change that brand of gel soon. "I have another appointment. Thanks though."

The air outside of the production studio was colder than he'd anticipated. Shivering a bit, wearing nothing but a loose T-shirt over a tank, his blue eyes sought over the mass of cars until he caught the eye of his driver.

"Take me to Studio 13, Johnson," Roxas sighed, sliding into the limo. Closing his eyes a little, letting his aching muscles relax for a second, a breath choked out of him.

His entire body hurt.

Breath haggard, Roxas sucked in a deep breath as he opened his eyes again. The color of the endless night sky, a deep, dark red-blue, cloaked the entire city. Lights flashing, the same lights that substituted the absent stars, which shimmered and winked in and out.

A passing billboard, the flaming sexuality of it, caught his eyes.

_Was I really that transparent that day?_

His panicked eyes were locked onto Axel's own flaming ones. Something in the redhead's smile had his heart jerking again. It was the same smile that had caused him his anxiety during the shoot and the same smile that had caused his panic attack. The nick that had never quiet healed from all those years ago bled.

"Too late now," Roxas muttered. Looking into his blue eyes, willing the absolute look of both panic, bliss, and grudging adoration away from the billboard, a single hand brushed against the windowpane.

_To realize you're fucking in love over a fucking photo. Roxas, you amaze me. _

Turning resolutely away as they cruised away from the photo, choking now, the blond hitched, throat clogging a little, as he let out a defiant sneeze.

"Master Roxas, we're here at Studio 13."

"Thanks, Johnson." Without waiting, the blond took his scripts and slid open the door to step out.

His eyes were blinded. Damn. Walking closer towards the bright light that he knew led to the studio, foot dragged, one before the other, as they brought him closer and closer to his goal.

It took him less than two months. To meet the guy, to hate the guy, to grudgingly accept the guy, before falling head over heels in love with said guy.

"Too late now."

Head spinning, eyes nearly crossing, the first sob in the longest time escaped him as he realized the truth.

"You have some stick up your arse, so you hide from every fucking person that tries to get close to you? Just how fucked up are you, Goldilocks? Huh?"

"Pretty fucked up. Pretty fucked up."

He briefly wondered if Sora knew, if Riku knew, if Selphie knew. Laughing a little to himself, the sound of his mirthless voice echoed through his ears as he recalled his conversation with the female singer just a week ago.

_"Why can't you snap out of it?!"_

He'd told her he was fine. That he was dandy and just great, hadn't he? It was just a week ago, wasn't it? Why was he breaking down over a photo? A photo he'd willingly posed in.

Reaching the door, he felt his fingers brush against the cool and the smooth. Tumbling through the door, practically deaf, the blond slumped against the frame a little as his head swirled.

The colors were blinding him. The lights were blinding him. Even if he was crying...the lights shouldn't be blinding him.

Oh God. My heart's breaking again. It's breaking again.

Something firm and strong caught him. Turning over to the person who was screaming something at him, probably something inane or another, he smiled.

"No Selphie."

It's breaking again. And this time, it'll never go back to a trickle.

"I'm not fine."

---

"...physical and mental exhaustion. Simply put, he's overexerted himself in more than one way. He's psychologically weak right now and suffering..."

Swimming in and out of the conversation, Roxas had the distinct impression that a couple of people were yelling. Someone was crying.

_Sora?_

Darkness enveloped him again, just as someone grabbed his arms. The red hair that reminded him so much of Axel swam before his eyes.

_Axel?_

Too tired. Closing them again, he accepted the blissful nothing that came for him.

The next time he woke, he found Axel sitting by his bed. He opened his mouth to say something—maybe to tell the guy to get the Hell off him—but his throat was completely dry and it _throbbed _from all efforts to say something. But then, before he could make a single noise, Axel was up and leaning over him again.

"Roxas! Roxas, how are you feeling? Are you—do you want a doctor?"

His throat refused any sound that wants to come out.

"What?" Leaning over, straining, Axel swallowed. "What do you want to say, Roxas?"

"The stick's wedged pretty...deep," was all he managed before sleep reclaimed him.

He didn't know when it was exactly when he next woke. Looking up at the blank ceiling, he briefly wondered if he'd been abducted before recognizing the scent of antiseptic. Catching sight of the drowsing Sora sitting by his bed, he groaned as he struggled to sit up.

Instantly the brunette was up, bleary blue eyes focusing when they caught sight of his brother. "Rox! Don't—! Don't get up yet!" Hurrying over to the front of the bed, Roxas watched as the brunette swallowed.

Blue eyes, obviously red from crying, blinked rapidly as he helped his brother fluff his pillows. "How are you...are you okay? Are you going to actually stay this time?"

Reaching over, taking Sora's shaking hands, Roxas smiled. "I'm fine, Sora. What am I doing here?"

The air whooshed out of Roxas as Sora threw himself onto him. Gasping a little, gently prying Sora off him, Roxas frowned as he caught his crying face.

"Three days," the brunette whispered as silent tears ran down his cheeks. "You slept for _three whole days_ in this hospital. I thought...I thought it was going to be like mom all over again."

"Sora...I'm—" His mouth choked on the word. Swallowing, smiling a little in reassurance, he reached out to touch Sora's hands. "I'm fine."

Blue eyes glared up then, blasting in their intensity. "No, you're _not_! _I'm_ not going to pretend to be all dandy and happy when I _know_ you're freaking miserable! Why?! Why are you doing this to yourself? Roxas...Roxas!"

Closing his eyes a little, feeling the hot prickle of tears threatening again, Roxas lowered himself back onto the hospital bed. "OK. Fine. I'm miserable, Sora. I'm _miserable_, Sora. _I'm_ miserable, Sora." Looking over at the crying brunette, swallowing a little as he laughed, he felt the tear streak down. "I'm miserable, Sora. So what can I do to stop being miserable?"

Nothing... because his happiness lay entirely in another guy's hands.

"Tell me Sora, what can I possibly do?"

**Author's Corner**

Part One of this One-Shot turned Two-Shot.

First official _Akuroku_, as promised. This chapter's mostly Roxas-centric, as most of you could see. I'm trying to work on a new style—mostly a third-person POV rather than my usual omnipotent. It's actually pretty hard..! There were so many times where I had to delete and retract for going into another character's head...

Ah well. Hope you all enjoyed this all the same. The next installment will come, hopefully, next month.

Thanks for reading and please take a little time to review!

Lots of greets,  
Yukisora

**Edited by: Wake-Robin****  
Last Checked: January 28, 2007**


	2. Transcendent to Hope

**IT'S ALL IN THE NAME**  
By: Yukisora

**-- + PART TWO + --**

"_Words have meaning and names have power. Some people think that if they change the names of things, the things themselves will have changed, too. Well, some people are fools."  
—_ David McKay

---

The first time Axel saw him: that was it. He'd already lost his heart.

With his sun-kissed hair rumpled in a way that looked too natural on him… with those cerulean blue eyes—deeper than any ocean, darker than any blue skies—haunting him in a way that was utterly unnatural... From the moment when he had come on the screen in nothing more than a plain, white t-shirt smeared with dirt and paint, Axel knew.

_This_ boy, this boy was the one for him.

It didn't matter that he'd been merely in high school at the time. It didn't matter that, with this movie, the love of his life would become a new sensation. None of that mattered because, as far as Axel was concerned, he'd get this guy—famous or not—and make him his.

Roxas Hashiba had no choice in the matter except to fall willingly into his arms and profess his reciprocated love.

Well, God certainly has a way of dropkicking a guy in the gut.

Three minutes into meeting the guy, Axel had somehow managed to not only offend him, but to put himself onto Roxas' hate list. Then, to make matters worst, Sora and Riku—those two ridiculously happy and conniving bastards—had decided to play matchmaker. Even though, at first, it had worked pretty well (Roxas looked like he was responding to Axel) the blond had then up and decided to flip a one-eighty.

So, in goes the stick and out goes Axel.

Throwing down the magazine, which held the photo-op of Roxas, smiling into the camera, as he cradled a newborn in his hands, Axel scowled, throwing himself onto a chair. He looked so perfectly perfect in that offhand shot taken probably by some newbie photographer, who worked for the magazine. And yet, there probably wasn't another person in the _world_ that could match this blond in beauty.

The first time that Axel had met Roxas in person—the world stopped. Quite literally, the redhead felt the entire world tilt for one split, heart-thundering second. It had spun right off of its axis, realized a second later of its frenzied mistake, and had righted itself all before the blond had noticed him and smiled in greeting. Granted, it had been nothing more than an impersonal smile, given only because the social gathering had demanded it, but the way those lips had tilted and the way those impossibly blue eyes had crinkled, had the world popping off it's rotation all over again. Some people might call it being star-struck, but Axel had known it was love.

Before Roxas—and Axel _does_ refer to his life as the Era Before Roxas and the Era After—had entered into Axel's life, before Axel had set eyes on that gorgeous blond for the very first time on screen, the redhead had been the height of cool. With his tall, firm build, his cat-green eyes, feline smile, and hair that could put a cherry to shame, Axel had practically dominated his high school.

Girls sighed when they catch sight of him. Guys wished, in the depths of their heart, that they could be him. Teachers loathed him on principle, but they respected and admired his Go-Fuck-Yourselves-I'm-Independent attitude anyway.

And he was. Independent, that is. It didn't matter that the Akuseru happened to own the biggest franchise in the financial world. Axel had up and decided to leave that suffocating house three years prior, found himself a decent paying part-time, and had lived with the rats for a whole term before his best friends had found out about it and decided to have their say.

Then Roxas made his debut in the senior year of Axel's high school life.

And, independence be damned, his heart wasn't even his anymore.

The next year and a half, Axel worked like a man possessed. His friends were seriously debating whether they should contact his family home or ship him straight to the nearest shrink. The only reason they didn't was because Axel had always _been_ crazy prior to that point and the fact that the redhead would probably bust out of any rehab center and kick their sorry ass after, helped. Work and money dominated Axel's life. Auditions and contests came the year after, when he'd worked up enough money to head to the big ol' city of dreams.

Well, the dream worked for him, because it was there that Axel had his first big break. The modeling industry snapped him up immediately, cooing over his alabaster skin, awing over his gem-like eyes, and absolutely raving over his naturally flame-tipped hair. In the year that he worked as a model, he'd moved from the newbie that gets a page or three of shots in a magazine, to an entire spread dedicated only to him.

By then, Roxas and his brother, Sora, had already achieved a reputation and status as the reigning sweethearts of the entertainment world. Only the best and the greatest ever got _near_ the two. So Axel, chasing after his one and only, had modeled and showed, strutted and posed, until he _was_ the best. The crème-de-la-crème. The cream of the crop.

_"Hello_," had been Roxas' first word to Axel. He'd glanced at him, tops, for maybe three seconds, before moving right along to Axel's companion, who just so happened to be an acquaintance of Sora's and thus, an acquaintance of Roxas'.

Axel couldn't remember another time when he'd despised his modeling partner, Riku Sugisaki, more. The fact that Sora was friends with _Axel_, too, didn't filter across. Oh no, it was the simple fact that Roxas knew who Riku was and had no idea that Axel Akuseru—his friggin' _soul-mate_—was standing right in front of him, ignored.

Well, three years after _that_, at the height of his career, the Hashiba Twins had decided to pose for a couple of magazines due to the request of a friend, and Axel... Axel finally got his chance.

But like all men in love, Axel was an idiot.

Once upon a time, Axel might have made a claim that if there was one thing he was amazing at, a natural-born talent you could say, it would have been the art of love. Ovid's Metamorphosis wouldn't have been able to hold a _candle_ against Axel's own book of love. So when God decided to punish him for his arrogance, decided that Axel needed a rude little awakening, maybe an extra slap or two, it took him some time to realize that Roxas _wasn't_ falling flat on his ass for Axel.

If anything, Axel was falling more and more. The more time he spent with the little golden blond, the more Axel began to panic. After all, it wasn't supposed to be like this. Roxas wasn't supposed to be distant, wasn't suppose to be able to retain his reason and amusement, as he treated Axel like nothing more than he treated...who knows. Like Oprah Winfrey. Like any other random celebrity that he might or might not know.

Roxas was supposed to fall for him, at first glance, in the same way Axel had fallen for him.

Thus, as he failed so miserably at his first attempt at love, Axel could only watch as his beloved, the one who'd changed not only his life but also his whole _world_, slipped through his very fingers.

---

One of these days, one day soon, Axel was going to fucking rip out Riku's balls. The only reason that he hadn't done it yet was that Sora would cry if he lost his nighttime activities because of Axel's anger management issues. Then the little brunette would've sic his twin on him… and any hope Axel might have at having a relationship with the blond would be gone. Simple as that. Once Roxas Hashiba hates someone, he hated that someone.

Which is why, now that Roxas had most likely decided to hate him, Axel was seriously contemplating on castrating his friend some day soon. Preferably with a pencil.

"Fuck _off_!" Axel screamed as Riku dragged him off the limo. Scowling, disregarding all the curious stares he was getting from the pedestrians, the redhead tried to punch his friend, as Riku practically bulldozed the two of them into the hospital.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are, Sugisaki. But if you don't get your slimy little matchmaking arm off me this instant I'm going to the nearest tabloid and tell them you slept with me last night." Scowling, as all Riku did was tighten his grip, Axel reared back and tried to punch the silver haired model again. "I'm fucking _serious_. Your precious relationship's gonna fall apart because, eventually, Sora'll start believing my stories."

"Not even Sora's that naïve."

"Fuck _off_!"

"God." Riku wheezed, when one of the flailing punches Axel had released grazed him at his jaw. "Shit, that hurts, you son of a bitch."

"Fucking get off me and you won't get hurt."

"Like Hell. I'm not letting you back into that apartment just so you could mope around." Grunting a bit, he hauled him into the elevator and pressed the button to close the door, ignoring the indignant screech of the old woman who wanted to go in with them.

Axel, glaring at the glowing number thirteen button, scowled just before he pressed every single button from the ground floor to thirteen. Even as his friend started yelling in defiance, the redhead settled onto the wall of the elevator to regard his silver haired model and partner.

It had been five in the morning when Riku's voice had sounded over the intercom to tell Axel that they were both going out, whether he wanted to or not. Since the redhead had been near drunk at the time, the other model had deemed it necessary to stuff his head in the coldest shower his sorry ass for a friend could manage before stuffing him into the waiting limo.

Axel nearly castrated the guy right then and there.

"It's been _days_, fucktard," Riku scowled when all Axel did was glare at him. Once upon a time, he might've cowered under that glare. Axel remembered when Riku first entered the modeling industry with him. But _noo_. Now that he had _Sora_, the rest of the world could go friggin' drown in icy water for all the care Riku showed.

"If you think I don't know that you're worried out of you _mind_, then you obviously don't consider me a friend." The look that Riku gave him had Axel frowning, as he turned his eyes back to the numbers. "If you don't think that I don't freaking know that you're still in love with Roxas, you obviously think I'm blind."

The quiet _ding!_ that resounded throughout the elevator let the two of them know that they'd reached the tenth floor. Escaping out of the door, before Riku could object, the redhead raced down the hallways.

Axel didn't _need_ the goodwill of a blissfully happy couple. He didn't want it. The last time he'd listened to them and had gotten close to Roxas, the blond had turned tail and ran faster than Axel could even say his name.

Goldilocks had cried.

Jumping into one of the rooms, quickly shutting the doors, Axel slumped behind it as he waited for Riku's footsteps to pass.

The last time he'd been in this hospital, Roxas had lay on the hospital bed, paler than any live person should be. It had, honestly speaking, scared him shitless. Those lips, usually so full and red, had been paler than snow. Gaunt and soulless eyes had stared past Axel into something only he could see.

And it was all Axel's fault.

_"The stick's wedged pretty...deep,"_ he'd said. It was all he'd said right before he'd pass right out again. The redhead had stayed with him the whole night, listening to those groans, enduring those whimpers, and had known that he was the reason why Roxas had collapsed.

Physical and mental exhaustion, to the point that he'd collapsed into a dead heap at the entrance to the biggest studio in the city. And Axel had caused it.

Why the Hell was Riku and Sora so adamant in bringing him to the blond?

When the footsteps disappeared from the hallway, Axel slowly inched the door open. Making sure that the hallway was empty, the redhead snuck past the hall again, turned the corner, and made another mad dash for the elevator. Swallowing, praying that Riku won't be heading back any time soon, green eyes lit up in triumph when the bell signaled the arrival of the elevator.

The redhead made to run into the elevator, hand already reaching for the button that'll shut the door, when familiar blond hair and blue eyes entered his vision.

Like so many times before, like the very first time, the world tilted and slid off its axis. His heart nearly jerked right off his chest as cat green eyes caught the familiar cerulean that could only belong to Roxas. Blinking, freezing for maybe a millisecond, Axel felt his lips tighten as he stepped carefully off the elevator again.

"Hey Roxas." Beside Roxas, Sora waved a little, sticking out a foot to keep the elevator door open, he pulled the redhead into the elevator. "Good timing. I was about to go look for Riku—I'm assuming he's on this floor. Can you hold this bag for Rox, while I look for him?" Dumping the bag into Axel's lax hands, the brunette grinned as he waved. "Thanks."

And before either of them could protest, the quiet bell of the elevator—the damned traitor—had the door closing and moving down again.

"So, I heard you're being released today," Axel muttered as he leaned against the wall. Roxas, on the other side of the elevator, nodded silently as he stared at something just past Axel's shoulders. "Are you...feeling better?"

Feeling his heart clench, as Roxas nodded mutely again, Axel nodded his head in reply. In reply to what, he had no idea. Turning the duffle bag restlessly onto his other hand, green eyes roamed over the slight frame of the blond. Shuddering, despising the fact that he'd lost so much weight, the redhead felt something broke at the very real misery behind those blue eyes. Silently, his words from their previous encounter filtered through his mind.

_"You have some stick up your arse, so you hide from every fucking person that tries to get close to you? Just how fucked up are you, Goldilocks? Huh?"_

Closing his eyes, nearly suffocating from the pressure in his heart, Axel released his breath a little, as he tried to alleviate some of the ache. Swallowing, when all that breath of air did was filling his entire system with Roxas' scent of mangos and antiseptic, Axel forced a smile onto his face.

"Listen Hashiba," he said as the elevator neared the fourth floor. "About last time." Large blue eyes snapped onto his own green ones as he groped desperately for words.

The elevator neared the second floor. Handing the light bag over to the honey-golden blond, who accepted it mutely, Axel sucked in a breath as that continuous pressure squeezed until his heart damn near imploded. Fuck, at this rate, he'd fucking bleed to death.

The _ding!_ of the elevator sounded again.

Releasing the hold on the duffle bag, the redhead scratched his head a little, as he felt his eyes mist. Quickly scratching his bangs, making the flame tips cover his eyes, he grinned at the still silent blond. He wished he could hear that voice just once more.

"I'm sorry."

---

Stretching lazily as the warm breeze rippled through him, Axel let out a breath as he let himself fall into the warmed sand. The waves, every few second or so, would lick hungrily against his bare feet. Above him, gulls cried every now and then, telling the others that nightfall was about to come. A few wisps of golden clouds floated quietly in the evening sky as the sun slowly, but surely, slid quietly into hiding.

"Good shot, Axel!"

The loud cry from the photographer shattered the tranquility of the area. Eyes snapped open again, gleaming from the last of the sun's rays, as he slowly sat up. Sand slid noiselessly down, streaking over white skin edged by a bit of honey. Taking a deep breath, relishing in the smell of the paradise island, Axel smiled as one of his assistants helped him to his feet.

"Good shots today, Axel," his photographer for this project smiled, as he slapped the redhead happily on his back. "Go and enjoy yourself for the rest of the night. We'll be making another shoot first thing in the morning."

Nodding, Axel walked off towards where his stuff sat. Pulling on a t-shirt, the redhead nodded at his manager before stalking towards where his friend laid, shades on, arms behind his head, and the biggest smile he'd seen in a while lit on that face.

"Lazy ass, get up," Axel drawled as he kicked the sun-chair slightly. Smirking in amusement when Demyx Karagi, his best friend since birth and brother since oath, fell right off the white thing, Axel turned to grab his water from the blond man's grasp.

"Damn it, Axel," Demyx, rubbing his head slightly, pulled his headphones off his head as light blue eyes looked up in annoyance. "I was finally getting into it."

Axel shrugged. The blond was currently running one of the biggest recording companies in the world. There was some sort of innate music sense in the laid back man, which had him smelling out a singer and a performer when he saw one. Pulling Demyx' sitar case from beside the table, the redhead watched as his friend rubbed his hands a little.

"Song any good?" Axel asked, nodding at the music player as Demyx accepted the sitar case easily.

Demyx shrugged. Waving at a couple of mutual friends they knew from the entertainment business, the blond pursed his lips a bit, as he pointed to the white iPod in his hands. "Pretty good," Demyx decided as they headed back towards the hotel. "The guy who wrote this—he's brilliant. When you listen to it, it's like...uh. Like that Greek myth, with what's his name. When the guy went off to the bottom of the ocean looking for his long, lost girlfriend."

"It's Orpheus, Demyx," Axel rolled his own eyes at his best friend. "And he didn't go down to the ocean, he went down to Hades. And it's not his girlfriend, it's his dead wife."

"Whatever. Same thing," Grinning, Demyx waved his hands dismissively. "Wife, girlfriend, ocean or Hell, they all give off the same feeling."

Axel was about to point out that there was a pretty big difference between following someone to the bottom of the ocean and _death_ when he realized, if he really thought about it, there really wasn't that much of a difference. Either way, the guy would die. Scratching his head again, the redhead nodded to the doorman, as they headed towards the restaurant within the hotel.

"And let me tell ya," Demyx was saying, as the maitre'd led them to a table. "Whoever the lyricist is, the man's a genius."

Nodding absently, as the blond went on and on in his tirade about the lyricist, Axel tuned out the voice of his best friend, as a passing waiter served a dish of trout to the couple at the table over. Staring at the trout, he swallowed slightly as he quickly turned his head in the opposite direction.

Outside the window, through the clear glass of the windowpanes, pedestrians strolled leisurely in the little light left in the evening. The few streetlights around the wooden boards slowly flickered on one by one, illuminating the bubbling families that were on vacation, the quiet couples enjoying each other, and the couple of local kids dashing home for dinner. Some lights flickered on for shops that would stay open throughout the night, as others flipped the signs to show that business, for them, was over for the day.

"That couple looks happy, huh?" Demyx sipped his pink lemonade quietly, as shrewd blue eyes regarded his best friend.

Green eyes remained softened on the happy couple, who were, no doubt, on their honeymoon. The way their eyes remained resolutely on one another, totally disregarding all the other people that were walking on the same street, had the redhead sighing.

"Yea."

Demyx was quiet for a moment after that. Just as Axel was about to believe that the blond wouldn't pursue the subject further, he placed his glass back onto the table and turned towards him. "You miss him."

Axel closed his eyes. It's been weeks since he'd accepted this project. Since the entertainment circle was so small, if he'd stayed in the city any longer, the chances that he and Roxas would run into each other again was pretty high. Remembering the pain he'd seen in the blond's eyes at the hospital, before the hospital...remembering those tears, had moved Axel from the city.

He didn't want to hurt Roxas anymore.

The project, which brought him halfway across the world to the most renowned paradise island, would give them both time and space away from each other. Roxas would soon forget about Axel, and Axel...

Axel would stay out of Roxas' way.

"Yea."

---

On the third day at the shoot, Zexion had decided to come down and visit. Demyx, delighted in seeing his boyfriend after the weeks of absence, disappeared together with the man to only God knows where. Feeling slightly bored, and inexplicably alone, Axel threw on a shirt as he stalked out of the hotel room.

The laugh alerted him first.

Eyes widened as he recognized the slight chuckles mixed in with one of the cheeriest laughs in the entertainment industry. Ducking by the cleaning lady, who stared at him strangely, as he smiled in reassurance, Axel swept his eyes down the hall and very nearly groaned when he saw the familiar sight of the familiar twins walking towards the elevators.

Crap.

Roxas, who was being pushed towards the elevator, was scowling at something Riku had said. Something inside him lit up when he saw that the haunted look in those blue eyes had diminished somewhat, some of the weight had come back a little, and a bit of shine was already returning to that face. He was smiling.

And yet, even as a smile wanted to fly onto his face, the unmistakable desire to cry was nearly overwhelming him. Cursing in his mind, as the eyes of the cleaning lady widened even further, Axel quickly shushed her as he searched frantically for a handkerchief or a tissue or something.

It really was Axel that was hurting Roxas. Choking a little, the biggest smile on his face as streams of tears started sliding down his cheeks, Axel let loose a breath as that pressure which has been always around the edges of his heart came back, full force. Without Axel around, Roxas could smile again.

Well, shit.

"Here."

Snapping back his eyes towards the cleaning lady, who was frowning at him in sympathy, Axel blinked a little as he swiped at his eyes with the back of his hands.

She was holding out a bathroom towel to him.

"Here," she repeated as she held the white fluffy towel to him. For some reason, for some strange reason, that made him want to cry even more.

Quickly taking it from her, smiling in thanks, Axel took it and turned back to his room. Satisfied that the twins had disappeared into the elevator, Axel sighed, as he wiped the towel over his eyes and face.

"Thank you," Axel smiled. He held out the towel a little, realized that she probably can't put it in any room now, and took it back. "Allergic reaction. Always makes me cry like a baby."

"Well then," Crisp, nearly blunt, the lady turned back to her cart as she wheeled it towards the next room. Without looking at him, she knocked on Demyx' door before swiping it open. Axel, taking that as an indication that she'll keep her mouth shut, was about to walk off when her soft murmurs reached his ears.

"I suppose you have a mighty big allergy against that pretty little Roxas Hashiba star, then."

Axel froze. Laughing, he pressed the towel to his eyes again as he realized the irony of the sentence. "No. Actually, I think he might be allergic to me. I'm just allergic to pink lemonade."

Taking the towel back to his room, leaving a generous tip at the nightstand, Axel grabbed one of the caps, his biggest pair of shades, and slipped from the room. He dashed into the elevator the moment it rang and pressed hastily for the lobby before making a dash out of the hotel.

Night had already overtaken the entire island. The sky was a rare shade of purple, and the first star of the night was shining, already, in the sky. Taking a deep breath, almost grateful for the chills the night brought, Axel walked into the crowd of tourists. The sound of laughter was everywhere. Locals danced happily, getting ready for a festival that the entire island was participating in, in just a few days. Tourists clicked away in excitement, sharing the moment with a mother or brother, lover or best friend.

Getting off the main road, the redhead walked over to the isolated beach. The sea was already drenched in the shine of the moonlight. Waves brushed languidly under the guidance of the silver moon. Stepping carefully onto the shore, Axel let the shades drop.

Green glimmered against silver, against black, against purple. Tears slid, disregarded, as the redhead slumped onto the sand. The tranquility, under the cloak of night, very nearly became solitude.

It's been eons since he last sang.

"You said to me with eyes full of tears...That fairytales are nothing but lies...That I can't possibly be your prince..." A quiet whisper, nothing more than a sigh, those green cat eyes, nearly hazel under the moonlight, closed as the quiet melancholy of his voice echoed throughout the sea.

"You don't understand... I'm willing to be that angel you loved inside the fairytales. To spread my hands, to become wings and protect you...Believe, believe that we can be like the fairy tales...

"With our own happily ever after."

Eyes snapped open when he heard the quiet steps behind him. Even as fear ransacked through him, Axel felt something burst open in his heart, pushing back against the pressure that was constantly suffocating him. Turning, eyes widened when he recognized blond hair.

"I can't remember the last time you sang one of my songs." Demyx remarked as he stepped beside his best friend. Taking in the soaked eyes, light blue eyes narrowed as he turned towards the sea. "I thought you said Axel Akuseru's not a singer."

Axel felt his heart fall. Turning away, groping for his shades, Axel flinched when he realized that Demyx had already taken it hostage. "Stop hiding from me, Akuseru," Demyx frowned, as he tucked the glasses into his pocket. Sitting beside the redhead, eyes stared into Axel's own irresolute ones, before he sighed.

"I guess you saw Hashiba, then."

"Yea. I guess."

"Axel."

"He laughed." Feeling like he was breaking, Axel laughed too. He held a hand up against his eyes, squeezing the bridge of his nose as a fresh wave of tears coursed through him. Ah, fuck. He was getting tired of his emotional roller-coaster. God, he'd though that once he'd gotten to meet Roxas in person, things will be so much easier.

What a joke.

"Roxas," he added when he realize that Demyx was waiting for him to continue. "He laughed when I saw him. He's doing so much better. Better than I'd hoped."

"Why'd you run away, Axel."

Looking up at Demyx, who was now scratching his ears, as he fiddled with iPod, Axel turned back to the sea. "I didn't. Roxas needed me away from him."

"And now he's a lot better without you, I know." Demyx shrugged. "So why aren't you happy with it?"

Eyes scrunched together. "Fuck off, Karagi."

"Too bad. I can't. Zexy went back off to film his next award winner and I'm not willing to play alone."

"Demyx..."

"You know what I think, Axel?" Demyx continued, ignoring whatever Axel was about to say. "I don't think you left for Roxas at all." Sighing loudly, as Axel made to get up, the blond reached over and tripped the redhead back onto his seat. "I'm not done. Lemme finish, then you can go stick your head back into your room and hide until tomorrow. Anyway, did you even _ask_ Hashiba if he wanted you gone from his life?"

Axel blinked.

And Demyx rolled his eyes. "I didn't think so. Before you pull an MIA on the guy, don't you think you should _ask_ if he wanted you to disappear first?"

When Axel didn't respond, Demyx nodded. "Right. Thought so too. So what does that say, Axel? You didn't run for Hashiba. You ran because of yourself."

"You know what?" Jumping up now, eyes blazed slightly, as his breath hitched a little. Swallowing a little, eyes turned away from Demyx when all the blond did was stare straight back. "You know what? I'm done here."

"Shit. When did you get so damned _pathetic_?" Demyx exploded. "Where's the old Axel Akuseru? The one that could make all the teachers and staff cry in frustration. The one that could make girls freakin' faint with just a glance. Who _are_ you?"

And that final part of Axel, the part that's been fighting off that immense pressure, collapsed. Hands covered his eyes as he sighed again. He wanted to laugh. He was about to cry. His heart was falling apart. That constant pressure that's been eating at him since he'd left Roxas was slowly taking his heart whole. God, it was even worst than when Roxas had cried because of him, when Roxas had fainted at his feet.

"I'm tired, Demyx." Axel turned. Headed back to his room at the hotel. "So tired. So I think I'll go back and sleep for tomorrow."

---

"Akuseru!"

The photographer sighed as Axel blinked back to the present. Cursing under his breath as he realize how many films he'd probably messed up, the redhead sighed as he waved for water. "Shit. Sorry, camera-man," he sighed, massaging his temple a little as the beginnings of a headache started to throb.

"Come here," Cid Highwind growled, as he pulled the redhead away from the set. "What's wrong with you today, kid?" He scowled at the look in Axel's eyes.

"Sorry, camera-man," Axel repeated as he rubbed his head. "My head wouldn't stop throbbing."

"Somebody get me an aspirin." Cid glared down at the redhead. "Fine. That gets rid of one excuse. What else you got, kid?"

Axel blinked. Looking up at the gruff man before him, the one who'd first introduced him to the modeling scene all those years ago, Axel swallowed. "Nothing, sir."

"Oh yea? Well that's not what I heard." Feeling more miserable by the second, Axel's head snapped up at Cid's next words. "Sora Hashiba's here. You've got fifteen."

Head whipped towards the chairs. Sure enough, there was the little brunette. Swallowing, feeling as though he'd prefer not to take the break, Axel looked back at Cid's glowering face and sighed.

"Axel." Sora's eyes widened at the sight of the redhead. "Uh, well damn. You look like crap."

"Thanks, little Sora," Axel muttered, as he settled into the seat, beside the brunette. Accepting the water and the aspirins from one of the assistants, Axel sighed as he gulped the pills down.

"Are you sick?" Sora frowned.

Batting the hands away from his face, Axel leaned back. "No." _Though things'll be simpler if I'm really just...sick_. Looking at the other star, Axel shrugged. "So what's up little Sora? I've only got fifteen minutes."

"Well." Still frowning, Sora sighed. "Initially, I wanted to yell at you for Roxas. But I don't think I can do that now that I've gotten a good look at you."

"Thanks for the mercy."

"Not that you deserve it," Sora scowled, as he pointed a finger at him for emphasis. "You _ran away_ just when Roxas needed you the most. What the heck was that?"

Oh man. Closing his eyes, Axel almost laughed. It was almost funny how similar Sora was to Demyx sometimes. "I wasn't running away, Sora."

"Yea, you _were_! God!"

Surprised at the insistent and exasperated tone from one who was usually so carefree and cheery, Axel felt his eyes widen. Sora threw his hand up in the air, standing so abruptly that the chair swung back.

"You _were_ running, damn it! God, you're even more of a bonehead than _Roxas_!"

"Sora, listen—"

"And it'd serve you right if Roxas really _does_ hate you because..." Axel froze. And suddenly the little brunette deflated before his very eyes. "It would've been because you didn't fight for him."

---

Staring at all the photos Cid had sent to him for approval, Axel rifled through the shots, frowning at a couple before dumping the whole lot back into the envelop. Flopping onto his stomach, he threw his hands over his face as the headache from before came back.

_I'm hurting_.

Turning resolutely away from his thoughts, Axel flipped onto the TV. The brilliant image of Roxas flashed onto the screen, cerulean eyes distressed, hair mussed, and that t-shirt hanging loosely on his thin frame.

_"You didn't fight for me."_ The cool gaze of the heroine swept past Roxas' character, as the camera moved onto the scene where a lean young man smacked another ball across the net.

_"Love – thirty!"_

_"I know I didn't,"_ Roxas, portraying Deiran, swallowed. Fear reflected behind those eyes as he reached out towards the girl who'd been his, once upon a time. _"I know I didn't_."

_"I'm sorry,_" Smiling, reaching out to hold the hand that was by her cheeks, the camera rolled until it was brought to Roxas' face. Watching the screen, avidly, Axel felt his breath hitch as Roxas' expression changed from one of desperation, to fear, before slowly turning to resignation and acceptance.

All within the span of a couple of seconds.

The feeling of pride overwhelmed him, nearly crushed him from the way his heart nearly burst, for some unfathomable reason. Incredibly proud that Roxas could show such genuine emotion on screen, he felt the desire to both laugh at his love's talent, and cry that he couldn't share this joy with the blond. Chuckling, feeling the same bubble of hysteric and panic Roxas had shown on screen, Axel threw his head back. God.

This roller-coaster ride will never end.

"_It would've been because you didn't fight for him._"

The pounding on the door had Axel shutting the TV off again. Getting off the bed, the redhead padded over to the front door. Eyeing the peekhole carefully, Axel slid the door open when he saw Demyx.

"Dem, what's—"

"Get your butt out of this hotel, _now_!" Eyes wide, hair mussed, and one headphone dangling off his ear haphazardly, the blond reached forward to drag the shocked redhead out of his room. "_Now_, retard! Go! Roxas is leaving!"

At this, the redhead froze. _Leaving?_ Leaving where?

"Go, you stupid, freaking moron! What the Hell have you been chasing after all this time?"

And Axel was off like a shot. His heart, for the first time in weeks, in months, burst with something more than just fear. Panicked, hysterical, and something he couldn't quite pinpoint erupted out of him as he raced, impatient with waiting, down the stairs. Eyes saw nothing but the road in front of him. Jumping out to the street, he waved at the limo.

"Airport! Now!! Step on it!"

As the long stretch limo peeled out of the driveway, all the redhead could do was breathe. Thumping a hand across his heart, willing it to slow down and let him_ think_, Axel swallowed, as he gulped some of the water inside the limo.

What would he say when he saw him? What would he do? How the Hell should he tell the guy he'd been avoiding—like a fucking _plague_—for the past few months that no, he didn't want him to leave? He didn't want him to disappear?

That he refused to let him go without a fight?

What the hell do you _say_ in a situation like this without getting slapped?

Axel blinked. But he deserved to be slapped. Closing his eyes, breathing deeply, the redhead shook his head. It didn't matter if Roxas slapped him, kicked him, punched him, until he couldn't even be_ recognized_ anymore.

Not if it meant he'd stay.

Opening the door the moment the limo slid to a stop, completely disregarding his driver, Axel flew through the gates. Stopping before the counter, Axel huffed as he tried to make out the words he was trying to say.

Only to realize he didn't even know the flight Roxas was on.

"Fuck!" he cursed, slapping his head as he realized he didn't have his freaking phone on him either. "Shit!" The girl behind the counter stared.

Leaning forward again, eyes betraying his desperation, Axel swallowed as he tried to explain. "Look, I really don't know what flight he's on. He's on one of them! Leaving here today, I think. I don't know where he's going, and when he's going. But he's leaving soon and I _need to stop him_."

"Axel?"

Freezing, Axel turned and stared when he caught sight of the blond who'd stolen both his heart and his independence away. Releasing the counter, swallowing, Axel walked forward numbly.

Roxas frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked as Sora murmured something to him before disappearing. The blond barely waved.

Blinking, swallowing again, Axel very nearly laughed.

_Still here. Still here._

"Who were you looking for? Demyx?"

Swallowing a little, feeling ridiculous for some odd reason, Axel covered his face again. Roxas was still here. He'd witnessed Axel's hysterics, had calmly walked up to him and asked him what's wrong. And started talking to him about Demyx.

God.

"Roxas. Listen Goldilocks," At the name, Roxas' eyes widened. "Just listen to me okay. A minute. No, a couple of seconds."

Those cute honey golden strokes drew together in that customary fashion only Roxas had. Seeing them drawing together in that way, the way those cerulean eyes—though cool—remained solely on his face, nearly made Axel cry. The simultaneous urge to both crush the blond to him and run the opposite direction ransacked through him.

_"You know what, Axel? I don't think you left for Roxas at all."_

Staring into those eyes, Axel swallowed as he nodded. No. It hadn't been for Roxas at all.

"Listen," Axel repeated. Swallowing, disgusted at the lump that was clogging his throat, Axel closed his eyes as he realized just how fucked up he'd been. Shit. _I'm the fucking biggest coward in the world. _

"I'm listening, Axel," Roxas' quiet voice hung between the two of them. There was none of the hatred, which he'd thought the blond would emit. It was actually going pretty well. He hadn't punched him yet.

"Okay. The truth is...truth is," Swallowing again when Roxas' eyes widened, Axel nodded. "Yea. Cid—the photographer, Cid Highwind, I don't know if you remember him—he loved us in the last shoot. And he really wanted us to do another spread together."

Those eyes dimmed. "Oh. Well, I'm sure your manager can contact mine." Looking at the redhead again, Roxas shrugged. "Is that everything?"

_No!_

"And!" Axel cursed. Cursed that he couldn't remember any of the rules to dating he used to _create_. Cursed that he couldn't be smooth in the most important moment of his life. Cursed that this one blond, this one small guy before him, could make him into the biggest babbling freak in the world.

"And?" Roxas repeated.

Axel turned his eyes away. "And...don't leave."

The longest silence, the most pregnant of pause, resounded after that statement. Releasing a breath again, Axel crossed his arms in his attempt to lighten the pressure that was still constantly pounding at his heart.

"Why?"

"God, I don't know, Goldilocks!" Throwing a hand towards his hair, his eyes, wild and frantic, zeroed back onto Roxas'. "I don't know, Goldilocks. But I know that, if I lose you now—this fucking heart's gonna bleed to death." Gripping his heart, and grabbing Roxas' hand with the other, Axel released another breath

"I don't get it," Roxas muttered, shaking his head a little. "Why?"

"Why—Why what?"

Looking up again, a slim, slender hand, reached up to gently press against the fist that Axel had over his heart. "Why would this break, Axel?"

"Roxas...Goldilocks...Shit!" Cursing, ransacking another hand through his hair, Axel very nearly laughed. "Shit. Do you have any idea how long I've loved you?" When blue eyes widened, he did laugh. "Yea. I didn't think so. You _are_ related to Sora. Not that I'm saying your brother's stupid or anything! But he's kinda...you know. Slow."

"Axel."

"Did you say my name that many times before?" Axel swallowed. "I think I would've noticed. God. I waited _years_ to hear my name coming out of your lips."

"Axel."

"Oh man. Goldilocks...Roxas. Did you know? The first time I saw you, you were in your first movie. _Namae_. I almost died when my heart flew out of my chest and plastered itself against the screen. And then, I met you a couple years later and you were so damned _aloof_. You're not supposed to be aloof. You're supposed to fall for me the minute you met me. I'm supposed to be calm and collected. Smooth. Suave. I don't know. Everything you ever wanted."

"Axel."

"But, _God_. God must hate me. Not only did you hate me, you just refused to fall for me. You just didn't. I keep messing up with you. Shit."

"Axel." Without waiting this time, the blond reached up, curved his other hand around Axel's neck, and pulled it down towards him. Lips brushed against lips, eyes remained on each other for one precious second, before both drifting blissfully close. Someone sighed, it didn't matter whom, before both eased back.

Curling his hand back around Axel's heart, he brought the redhead's hand towards his own. Roxas reached up to pull back the bangs on the taller man's head. "You need to stop babbling."

And he swallowed. "Okay. Sure."

"Axel, tell me straight. Do you love me?"

A pause.

"Yes. Fuck. Yes, Roxas."

And, rather than punching him, or slapping him, or kicking him until he's unrecognizable, the most beautiful smile that Axel had ever seen on the blond to date spread over that face. And again, one more time, the world tilted. This time, it wasn't ever going to get back on its axis, no matter what. Screw mistakes. Beneath his palms, Roxas' heartbeat sped, nearly matching his own.

"Good," the blond smirked as he leaned forward again. "Cause I've loved you since our photo shoot together. Guess you didn't know, Mr. Suave."

"No, you didn't."

"Yea, I did." Roxas grinned. "Well, I didn't notice either until I saw the picture Cid Highwind picked to be the cover for the ad we did." Smirking when all Axel gave him was a blank look, Roxas shrugged. "I was staring at you like there was nothing else in the world."

"That's love at first sight, Roxas."

A bubble of laughter erupted out of him, as Roxas shrugged. Something bright, exultant, something lighter than air itself, and utterly indescribable burst from the center of his heart and spread. The pressure, that damned annoying pressure that'd been eating at his heart since eternity and a day, promptly faded under this new sensation.

Happiness.

"That's the stuff of fairytales," Axel added as the first jovial laugh escaped from his blond. "Goldilocks, that's a fairytale."

Something inside him wanted to cry again. However, this time, rather than the pinpricked feeling that came every time, peace, delight, and God knows what else, engulfed him, as he crushed the smaller actor towards him.

"Axel," Roxas murmured, as he twined his own arms around the redhead.

"Say my name again, Roxas."

"Axel."

"Roxas." Closing his eyes, deciding that, crying at this point would be unmanly, Axel laughed. "God, I love you. I love you."

"It's about damn time!"

Blinking, the two sprang apart. Cerulean blue and feline green stared into the goofy grins of their friends as Sora, Demyx, Riku, and Zexion stepped towards them. Coming before the others, Sora placed a kiss on his twin, before turning to regard Axel.

"Took you some _time_," Demyx agreed as he cuffed Axel from around the neck. "Tard."

Axel blinked. "Wait a second."

"Do you have any idea how much _effort_ it took to get you two together?" Riku added. He rolled his eyes. "And I thought Tidus was slow in proposing to Selphie."

"Axel's always been stubborn," Zexion shrugged.

"Man, Roxas too."

And it was then that the newly made couple realized. "Well, shit, you guys!"

And they lived happily ever after.

**Fin.**

**Author's Corner**

The song Axel sang was a translation of Michael Wong's song "Tong Hua" and not mine.

The two shot is officially complete. **To ALL who has or might read this in the future:** please take a little time and review, whether it's a simple "good job" or a criticism of where I can improve. It'd be greatly appreciated and highly useful for the next time I decide to work on an akuroku.

As always, thanks for reading!

Lots of love,  
Yukisora

**Edited by: Wake-Robin  
Last Checked: February 25, 2007 **


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